Saturday, August 27, 2005

I feel so humble today..

Additional English is without a shade of doubt, the toughest subject we have in college. And despite what many others seem to think, it is also the most interesting.
You only have to take a look at the titles of the chapters to know they're all masterpieces of English literature. My favourite,of course, is "How I learned to Argue while in England".
One look at the title and obviously I thought the author must be Gautam Nangia. To confirm my suspicions, I scanned the pages for the name "Michael Schumacher". No luck. Apparently this particular piece was written some hundred years before Gautam wrote his essay with the same title. And while our essay discusses nothing in particular(except for some vague references to some country's(India??) freedom struggle and the author's immaculate pronunciation of the word 'word'), Gautam's far more interesting essay gives details of 253 of his most memorable arguments built around who else, but Schumi!
Another chapter in our textbook is "An Eco-Feminist Vision", an essay that draws parallels between the plights of women and nature. Now, as anybody who has scaled Mt.Everest and also been the American President is well aware, I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for the fairer sex. So much so, that I've been desperately trying to convince some of my friends (in particular Ajay, Amogh and Shashanka) to name their first borns 'Estella', regardless of the gender of the child. Therefore, being the great admirer of women that I am, I was appalled to read the part where the author points out the similarities between the Venus Fly Trap (a fly eating plant) and Venus Williams (who eats nothing but flies during her preparations for Wimbledon, where the winner, incidentally, is awarded the 'Venus' Rosewater dish). Interesting observations no doubt, but they do leave a bitter taste in your mouth, far more bitter than fly juice anyway.

'I like living life on the edge. My house is on the edge of a cliff and I drive a car from Argentina.'
-Colin Mochrie
Whose Line is it Anyway?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I return to blogging today equipped with the knowledge that blogging is a very very important activity. Apparently bloggers in Bombay raised thousands of dollars abroad for flood relief through their blogs. I contributed in my own little way by not taking part and thereby not throwing a spanner in the works. Besides, it appears I have some loyal readers who religiously log in to check on my blogs (if only to smile derisively and congratulate themselves on leading slightly more exciting lives). To you people, I say, thanks anyway.

Today turned out to be a very special day in college. This morning, in accounts class, I rummaged through my bag, and in an act in no way less entertaining than David Copperfield pulling an elephant out of a matchbox, I pulled out 2 pens that worked, one that didn't, a pencil and a ruler! You should have seen the look on Gaurav's face. Now, for those ignorant folk who don't understand the significance of this monumental achievement, I'll give you a bit of history. The last time I had carried this assortment of stationery in my bag, was the day Shreyas came to the grave conclusion that the only way to flatten the tiny dents in Ajay's parker pens was to throw them hard against a wall in BASE, immediately followed by a wall directly opposite the first. Or maybe it was because he was angry at Ajay. I'm not quite sure. Anyway, that was around two years ago, though it feels more like three score and seventeen years.

I'm now on a readership expansion drive. My immediate target is to increase my readership from a measly 3.75 (yeah, there's one person who reads only three-quarters of every blog...), to 6.75 (...and he/she has no intention of changing his/her ways), by the end of this week. A task that will no doubt put to the test my immense marketing skills. My problems are further compounded by a mystery man who goes by the name of Mysteryman. It has come to my knowledge that this guy is spreading rumours about satanic messages hidden in my blogs. Now, that is so untrue! Just because I paint my 3 inch nails black and have 136 body piercings and chant "Lucifer is my king" and have the occasional peg of blood at a sacrificial feast, people brand me a satan worshipper. But I am not one. I appeal to my readers to believe me, and aid me in my quest to add a few more blog readers to the existing pack.

Monday, August 01, 2005

I woke up to a huge challenge today, the one posed by the newly installed Jain college Monday dress code. White shirt, black trousers and a tie. Its amazing how stupid it can make you look. And a thousand stupidly dressed people in the same vicinity don't paint a very pretty picture. To add to my misery, Gaurav bunked college(poor guy's got viral fever, hope he gets well soon). That meant that I had to complete our daily break-time exercise of walking up the road leading to college and back, all on my own, treating people along the way to a free freakshow.
But the day got better, as I had fervently hoped.
2 pm S-H-A-R-P, I was on MG Road, and on time, in very overcast conditions, to meet Malvika Kejriwal(not Periwal) who had very kindly consented to include my name in a schedule already overflowing with midday appointments.The intermittent spells of light and not so light drizzling sent us scurrying out of Barista and on a Bangalore exploration trip. A bowling game, and a suspiciously pink creamy concoction later, I had contributed enough to our conversation to fill 0.34323 percent of an msn msgr window. So, obviously, I was expecting to get whacked by a pair of heeled slippers as punishment for my refusal to "open up". But apparently, marvadis accepted to Indiana University,Bloomington are not vindictive people. Some are very very nice. And they become good friends over ten months. An important life lesson.
The evening had even more enlightenment in store. Accounts is in some ways very similar to programming. Its really quite simple once you have the tiniest idea about what you're doing. And neither can be mastered overnight - my sagely observation.
9 o'clock is by my thinking a little too late for phone calls. But this was one I'd waited a few days to make. Apparently, BITS Pilani has a lot of raggers(people who rag, what are they called?). And Sai Hurrish D didn't manage to escape their net. It was nice to hear his voice after quite a long time, inspite of the irritating time delay on a not-so-clear line. I'm so glad we didn't lose touch after he moved to Bombay. Though it might have been nicer if he hadn't moved at all. I'm sure he'll do well for himself.

We are the champions, my friend..
And we'll keep on fighting till the end.
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers, coz we are the champions..
Of the world.

How in heaven's name did JD manage to escape elimination after mutilating this song on Rockstar INXS?